The Malling of the National Mall

Trump Administration Hangs Out the "For Rent" Sign on Hallowed Ground

President Trump recently announced that the 2027 NFL Draft will be held on the National Mall. The news has unleashed a flood of requests from businesses who also want to use the space for their own spectacles. One can imagine splashy new product launches, consumer expos, or maybe block parties to celebrate regulatory rollbacks.

It’s still unclear just who, besides the NFL, might get a nod from the people who can make wishes like these come true. However, News Vac has learned of one company that has already been turned away. MegaStar Games, creators of the massively popular Auto Thief series, had hoped to unveil the newest version of their game on the Mall—because much of the action takes place right in that area.

A central player character in Auto Thief VI: DC Drift.

Auto Thief VI: DC Drift is the working title of the game. It continues MegaStar’s tradition of setting Auto Thief games in American cities like Los Angeles, Miami, New York, Chicago—and now Washington, DC. We got our hands on some of the materials MegaStar used when they pitched the idea of a game launch on the Mall. What we’ve shared here shows some of the options for building a player character.

Personality profiles for a main player character.

The game’s core goal has changed little since the first version appeared two-plus decades ago: amass as much wealth as you can while sowing chaos. We thought that MegaStar might have been denied access to the Mall because Auto Thief VI hit too close to home. After all, take away the occasional burning Lambo or bullet-riddled McLaren, and the game mirrors a typical slow Wednesday afternoon for many a Trump operative.

Plenty of color options for your player character’s suit.

Game VI’s uncomfortable closeness to reality was not a factor, said one of our DC insiders, who is a well-connected gamer. She talked to her MegaStar friends, who told her that the company was given conditions it wouldn’t (or couldn’t) meet for a launch on the Mall: no one but liberals or undocumented immigrants could die in the game. Also, the game’s soundtrack had to somehow work in a Christian praise rock song that someone’s teenage daughter had “conceptualized.” MegaStar countered with some product placement offers involving memecoins, Teslas, and Trump Bibles. The other side then made it clear that “compromising” and “negotiating” aren’t what “winners” do, and the deal fell apart.

Options for your player character’s hair.

Jewelry options for your player character. Who says MAGA women all dress alike?

Your player character will want to be on hand whenever the enforcement arm of their department raids an elementary school, library, or senior care facility. These accessories are a must. Also useful for press events and cutting to the head of waiting lines. Badges are customizable; hats are not.

MegaStar was not happy with being turned down, said our insider, but they have other venues to approach. They are planning to use news of the rejection to their advantage, because they know that any backlash coming out of Washington, DC will only make the game more credible with fans of the Car Thief franchise. MegaStar had even toned down the title of Car Thief VI in hope of getting a National Mall deal. With no incentive to hold back, they will probably return to their initial inspiration: Car Thief VI: Swamp of Sycophants.