Pyro Parchman and Superfund Sing Sing
DHS Announces New ICE Detention Facilities
Earlier this week, NewsVac reported that leaders in red states are clamoring to partner with the Department of Homeland Security and build immigrant detention facilities that match or exceed the inhumanity of Florida’s Alligator Alcatraz. Our ICE insider has leaked more draft descriptions of some new sites, which we’re sharing here. We expect official DHS announcements about facility openings very soon.
More facilities, soon to open:
-Superfund Sing Sing (Missouri). Located in the Big River Mine Tailings/St. Joe Minerals Corporation EPA Superfund Site. To get onto the EPA’s National Priorities List, a site must have a Hazard Ranking System (HRS) score of at least 28.50. Superfund Sing Sing has a HRS score of 84.91—the highest in the country. Lead and other toxic metals are everywhere: in the air, soil, water—and soon to be on detainees’ skin and hair, and in their organs. As “animals” detainees are exempt from laws on human experimentation. They can earn points towards a legitimate US work visa by agreeing to be test subjects for the mining, pharmaceutical, and defense industries. What’s for dinner at Superfund Sing Sing? Lead, mostly.
-Pyro Parchman (Pennsylvania). Located in Centralia. In 1962, a coal seam running beneath this mining town caught fire—and it has been smoldering ever since. Once thriving, Centralia is now a ghost town. Detainees will help to map the town’s many sinkholes and carbon monoxide vents. They will be paid in Trump meme coins which can be redeemed at the facility store for safety equipment (such as hardhats, flashlights, or gloves). Filtration masks can only be redeemed with information on a friend or relative living illegally in the US.
-Anaphylaxis Attica (South Carolina). Located on the least hospitable tract of land at the Marine Corps Recruit Depot, Parris Island. Detainees will be plagued by sand fleas, fire ants, wasps, yellow jackets, and brain-swelling heat and humidity. Escapees who take a land route will contend with ticks and poison ivy in the woods surrounding the island’s marshlands. Once in the marshes, the stress of avoiding alligators and rattlesnakes will consume every last measure of the escapee’s strength and sanity. At last, they will stumble into a fetid, bottomless mudhole, where scavenging crabs will feast on their eyeballs and tongue as they are sucked down into hell. Anyone who tries to escape by water will be swarmed by sea lice and sea nettles, whose stings will explode their nerve endings and give them hives on top of welts on top of rashes. Relief will come only after a rip tide sweeps them away to a watery grave.